Pornography—Can You Be Addicted?

1 What is addiction?

VIDEO: Nuggets by Filmbilder
Use the following animation to explain what addiction is in a way that anyone of any age can understand. www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUngLgGRJpo

The American Psychiatric Association defines addiction as:

“Addiction is a complex condition, a brain disease that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence. People with addiction (severe substance use disorder) have an intense focus on using a certain substance(s), such as alcohol or drugs, to the point that it takes over their life. They keep using alcohol or a drug even when they know it will cause problems. Yet a number of effective treatments are available and people can recover from addiction and lead normal, productive lives.”

You can read more here: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/addiction/what-is-addiction

VIDEO: Terry Crews YouTube Video “Dirty Little Secret Part 1”
A well-known actor, Terry Crews learned this lesson as well. In this video, he talked about his own struggles with pornography, and how it affected the way he began to look at others, feel about himself, and treat other people. www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4krRkO4sHc

Tell the students, “As you watch this, make a note of some of the negative effects he experienced due to using pornography. I will ask you to name them after.”

2 What was the impact of porn on Terry’s life? 

Discuss with your students how Terry’s porn addiction affected his view of women and his view of himself.  Have the students explain what they think was the worst consequence of his addiction. This likely could be how it almost cost him his marriage.

3 Why is pornography so addictive?”  

(open discussion and comments)

VIDEO: I am Sin
Feel free to use this video from a Christian group called Igniter Media, describing sin. In this video, sin is personified and actors explain how sin affects all of us. This is similar to what we know about addiction. In fact, scripture is quite clear that sin entices us and distracts us from God’s truth. Worse, sin is addictive: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUxECgPxyEw

Read: James 1:14-15 together.

ACTIVITY:

In gender specific groups, write down what different steps are outlined in James about how temptation and sin work. Watch this video from Igniter Media to help you understand these stages:

Explain to the students that James lists the step-by-step process of how addictions work. You can use the image on the slide to help illustrate the point: you can desire alcohol and not be addicted. But the more it becomes something you need, it can become an addiction which can lead to sin and death.

a) Desire—you want something or someone 

b) Enticement—you are enticed or tempted by something that piques your desire

c) Growth or Conception—you entertain that temptation and let it grow in your life

d) Sin—disobeying biblical commands either by doing something that we ought not to do or by not doing something we ought to do

e) Death—the end of our physical life on earth but before physical death it can also mean the end of our spiritual life with God.

NOTE: The key is to have students see that there are steps involved in how temptation and sin work in our lives (from a beginning/origin, to engaging in further thoughts, to action). By dividing your group by gender you can also discuss how the different temptations may affect men and women differently. For example, some things may be more tempting for one sex over the other, or the intensity of the temptation may be different. Have your students explain why there may be gender differences.

4 What needs does pornography meet?

• Sexual needs: As we talked about in previous sessions, God designed us to be sexual beings, but as sexual beings we need to control those passions as we control other passions. Porn is a way to temporarily meet our sexual need. However, since porn does not actually involve another person and since God designed sex for two people, it becomes an act that never fulfills the sexual need. It allows for sexual release while delaying the need for real sexual fulfilment in marriage.

• Physical needs: God also designed us to need physical intimacy. We need to be with others. Porn temporarily meets our sexual needs but can never fully meet our physical needs because porn does not involve any real person. It can only temporarily distract us from our physical loneliness but the loneliness is still there after using porn. 

• Emotional needs: God designed all of us with emotional needs. These needs can be met in many healthy ways and our different relationships, such as our family, friends or spouse, can help meet those needs. You can review what we learned in the Session on the 4 Loves if your students want. Porn excites because it allows for a facade of emotional connection. Porn users can feel connected with those they watch on the screen. However, this only lasts for the length of the porn video. 

VIDEO: Jason Mahr “Pornography Isn’t Your Problem”
Unfortunately, these temporary connections wear off after using porn and gets the user to want to use more porn to meet their needs. This creates an addiction. Watch this video of a former pastor and porn user who argues that porn was not his real problem: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIgWMzdgweI

5 Do you agree with Pastor Jason that porn is about medicating other needs?  

Discuss with your group why Jason thought he could meet these needs through porn. Explain to your students that God designed us for human relationships and that sex was designed to be enjoyed with a real person to whom you are committed for life. Point out that no substitution can meet those needs. Pornography merely covers up the problem.

SHARE:

“Jason distinguishes between his unhealthy attachment to porn, and what he saw as his actual problem (need of approval, medicating rejection)”.

6 If porn is about “medicating problems,” how does that fit with what James says are the stages of temptation in James 1?

Discuss with your students how porn's temptation fits perfectly with the stages James set out. In other words, help students understand the gravity of the situation when they get addicted to porn. Just like those who are addicted to drugs, or eating, or not eating, meeting your sexual needs in this way affects your brain, your relationships, and your view of yourself. No wonder, James warned us that God does not approve of it and wants something better for us.

The video above (Jason Mahr—Pornography Isn’t Your Problem) is a sobering reminder that porn is a huge problem in the church as well. Even Christians are trying to meet these needs through pornography.

7 What is the impact of pornography in the church?

Ask your group if they discuss pornography at their church. Share the following statistics about how much porn is affecting Christians. These numbers from the Barna Group (a polling company) and Covenant Eyes (a porn protection company) show how easy access to porn on the Internet and many other media formats, is having a huge affect on people in the church:

1. Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 seconds

2. There are around 42 million porn websites, which totals around 370 million pages of porn.

3. The porn industry’s annual revenue is more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC.

4. 47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home.

5. Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%.

6. Eleven is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94% of children will see porn by the age of 14.

7. 56% of American divorces involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites.

8. 70% of Christian youth pastors report that they have had at least one teen come to them for help in dealing with pornography in the past 12 months.

9. 68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn.

10. 59% of pastors said that married men seek their help for porn use.

11. 33% of women aged 25-and-under search for porn at least once per month.

12. Only 13% of self-identified Christian women say they never watch porn – 87% of Christian women have watched porn.

13. 55% of married men and 25% of married women say they watch porn at least once a month.

14. 57% of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. And 69% say porn has adversely impacted the church.

15. Only 7% of pastors say their church has a program to help people struggling with pornography.

https://www.trunews.com/stream/15-stunning-statistics-about-porn-in-the-church

8 Why do you think porn is such a big problem in the church?

As a group, brainstorm ways Christians talk about sexuality and pornography. Discuss whether or not churches deal with these issues enough. Suggest to the students that maybe Christians are too embarrassed to talk about their addiction. Sadly, you will need to discuss how many in the church simply do not want to give up their porn usage.

Another reason why porn use is so prevalent in the church is
because it is so prevalent in the culture.  It is easy to find, it is free and it is secret. It does not have to be something you think you need to deal with until it is too late.

The problem is that porn use, just like any other addiction, affects you in negative ways because God didn’t design you to use your sexuality that way. Whenever we use our bodies, or other bodies, in ways they were not designed, we end up harming ourselves or others. Use the slides to make this point. Consider these instructions for building furniture. If you don’t follow these instructions properly, you won’t end up with the furniture you need (oops!). That doesn’t cause too much damage but consider if you ignored the instructions for flying a plane. What happens if we don’t follow the designer’s specifications? The plane crashes and people die. In the same way, porn is using your body and others’ bodies in ways they weren’t designed for, and this causes harm.

Watch this secular video that discuss what porn does to your brain to cause addiction:

9 What does pornography do to your brain?

VIDEO: Your Brain on Porn
www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2mhQf8RjQs

Discuss how big a problem is for so many and how easily people can get enticed. Discuss the fact that we need to take porn addiction seriously, like any other addiction.

ACTIVITY:

As a group, apply James’ list to pornography use:

• Desire—having a longing/feeling for something (beauty, intimacy, love, pleasure)

• Enticement—having thoughts turn to lust, or being exposed to something sexual

• Growth—having increased desire and mindset to look for or find pornography. Engaging in behavior to increase enticement

• Sin—looking at pornography, engaging in lustful fantasy

• Death—the repeated pattern leading to self-defeat, damaged self-image, destruction of relationships

Ask the students if they agree that these are the steps that lead to addiction. Ask if they feel they are addicted to something non-sexual or intimate such as video games or TV watching or exercise. Encourage them to share these kinds of addictions. Have them explain their story if they are willing to share.

If not, you can share a story about addiction to similar, non-sexual addictions. This will help them see that we can all be potentially addicted and that these addictions are always unhealthy.

10 What steps can you take to stop using porn?

VIDEO: Model student overcomes pornography addiction www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nnEMYFnfAY

Both Jessica Harris from this story on the Christian Broadcasting Network and Pastor Jason, who we watched earlier, took three steps to help them stop their porn use:

1. They admitted they had a problem.

2. They confessed their sin to a trusted person.

3. They began to deal with the deeper issues.

Discuss with your students what they think about these steps. If they are struggling with addiction, do they have safe people to talk to. Remind them the first step is to simply admit that they have a problem.

Since we are made for relationship, then we need to create healthy, intimate relationships with other people we trust. These should be people with whom we can be honest about our struggles. With rare exceptions, sharing your personal sexual temptations should be with someone of the same sex who will understand your struggles without becoming a new source of temptation. If you are struggling with same-sex attraction, then foster healthy ways to talk to someone of the same sex to whom you are not attracted. Ideally, it is always helpful to find a mentor who is older and more experienced than you, as well as peer support from someone who is of the same age and background.

11 What are some healthy habits people can invest in, instead of porn?

In this last video, a female athlete discusses ways she can avoid porn use—by doing healthy things with her mind and body.

VIDEO: Become a Fighter
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5a_GHBmHjY

You can read more at: https://fightthenewdrug.org/3-lies-most-people-believe-about-porn-and-the-brain/