Loving our LGBT Neighbours

1 Watch the following videos and discuss how each video explains what ‘Christian love’ looks like:

VIDEO: I’m Christian but I’m not…
In this video, Buzzfeed, a secular media company, interviews young Christians who explain how they define Christianity. www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bWHSpmXEJs

In this next video, Lutheran Satire makes fun of the previous video, pointing out the inconsistencies of its view of tolerance and love. For example, the previous video’s definition of love seems to only apply to people who agree with them.

VIDEO: I’m Christian but I’m not (Lutheran Satire version)…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTUGadddOq0

Point out to students that each video defines love differently. The first video defines love based on how people feel about a situation. The second video points out that Christian love is all about Jesus and what He did and taught.  The Christian view is that real love starts with Jesus.

SHARE:

“One of the key ideas we’ve accepted as a culture is that loving people means loving their identity and never offending them. This is especially the case with sexual identity. But Jesus’ example shows that He loved people and did not divide them based on their sexual identity.”

Get the students to read the following passage: 

Let’s examine several ways Jesus shows love, both to the woman and to Simon.

2 How does Jesus model love in this story?

For many people, even church people, homosexuality is disgusting. Often this means that they see homosexuals as disgusting, just like the Pharisee saw the woman. How does Jesus’ response show Christians how we ought to treat others, including people in the LGBT community?

Most scholars assume that the woman washing Jesus’ feet was a prostitute or some sort of sexual sinner. This is why Simon the pharisee thinks she shouldn’t even be touching Jesus. He only sees her through her sexual identity. Explain to the students that even though Simon saw her only by her sexual identity, Jesus saw more. He first saw a woman who had come to Him for forgiveness. In other words, Jesus loved the person not her identity. Help the students consider these points from the story:

A) Jesus never treated the woman as if her identity was “sinner” even though Jesus knew she was a sinner.

B) Jesus loved the woman, but He did not ignore her sin. Moreover, He could only talk about forgiving her because she was willing to admit she had done wrong. By washing His feet with her hair, she was showing everyone in the house that she was submitting to Christ’s leadership and authority.

C) Jesus was never disgusted by the woman. She was much too important to be labeled by the identity the culture gave her. Instead, Jesus defined her by her faith and forgave her.

D) As Jesus’ followers today, we should never be disgusted with gay people, even if we don’t agree with their chosen identity.

Show the students the following video of Christian hip hop artist and former practicing lesbian, Jackie Hill-Perry. Listen to how she describes what happened to her and how that shaped her view of women and men.

VIDEO: This video is of Jackie Hill-Perry sharing her testimony and her struggle with what it means to be a woman. Tell the students that you’ve seen her speak before and this is her background story: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKZNstmc9Qg

Discuss with your students, that just like the woman in the bible story, many could have seen Jackie simply though her sexual identity. She herself saw only her sexuality. But by meeting Jesus she was given a new identity, one that was grounded in something more important than her sexual attractions—her Saviour.

3 How did Jesus love Simon?

Brainstorm with the students how Jesus treated Simon. Jesus rebuked and corrected Him, showing Him where he was wrong. This too is something that you need to do sometimes when you love someone. “Does Jesus’ rebuke mean Jesus didn’t love Simon?”

No, it’s obvious that we don’t always agree with people we care about. Sometimes we have to disagree with them. Use the following questions to illustrate how we often disagree with people we love. 

4 Ask the students if they love their parents (most should agree).

5 Then ask them if they agree with everything their parents say and do (most won’t).

In fact, isn’t it true that sometimes we disagree with people because we love them? If students question this, ask them if their parents have ever needed to correct them. And if so, ask them if their parents’ motivations were hostile or loving? In other words, we should remind them of this saying: “disagreement is not hate.”

Ask the students to share times when they had to disagree with people because they loved them.

In this story, we see that Jesus loved Simon enough to tell him that he was wrong to mistreat the woman. In the same way, when talking about sexuality, sometimes that means we need to tell others that they are doing things that are harmful to them. For example, consider this scenario:

VIDEO: For the Record
In this video, the Christian is confronted by a gay friend who attacks him for believing that homosexuality is a sin. However, the Christian never compromises his faith and shows that even though he disagreed with his friend, he was still willing to love him.

Find here: For the Record Video on Dropbox

Discuss with the students that God’s commands, even about sexuality, are always good. Brainstorm with them ways we can love those who disagree with us on these issues. Include ideas such as knowing when to argue and when not to argue, and how we can treat everyone with respect, even those who are mean to us.

6 Why does loving people who identify as gay mean not embracing homosexuality?

Earlier, we talked about sexuality, and how biologically and biblically our bodies are designed for sexual reproduction. We also talked about how sexuality is designed to bring people of opposite sexes together.

7 So if sexuality is about bringing together people who are of the opposite sex, why does homosexuality exist? Why are some people attracted to members of their own sex?

Brainstorm with your students the many ways people argue for the origins of homosexuality. Discuss whether these theories have merit or not. Much of the discussion will be whether the origins of homosexuality are biological, or not. Though much of the evidence today is inconclusive at best, it is safe to say there is no “gay gene.” In fact, the secular science today points to epigenetics, the way multiple genes interact with each other, as well as with the environment, as the cause of homosexuality. You can read more about this in Alan Shlemon’s book, An Ambassador’s Guide to Homosexuality available on the Stand to Reason website.

8 Regardless of origin, would it be safe to say that homosexual attraction is still rooted in “difference?” 

Show the students the following slides illustrating that same-sex attraction is not just opposite-sex sexual attraction, but for different body parts. In other words, homosexual attractions are not the same as heterosexual attractions. Remember, a person who experiences opposite sex attractions does so because they see someone of the opposite sex as different from their own body and identity. This is simply how sexual attraction works in order for reproduction to occur.

SHARE:

“In fact, for those who have never experienced same-sex attraction, there is a natural aversion to being attracted to someone with the same body as us. Consider this video from America’s Got Talent.”

VIDEO: This video is of an old man, Ray Jessel, who competes on the talent show, singing his own song. His song is about how he is initially attracted to a woman until he realizes she has a “penis.” The clip is not graphic except for the use of the word in the song so please use it at your discretion. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cyIxkFLjWI 

However, for those who experience same-sex attraction, their perception of members of their own sex is skewed. Somewhere along the way, they have come to view members of their own sex as different from them. This provides a foundation for thinking of members of their own sex in a sexual way. In other words, same-sex attraction is not same-sex attraction in the minds of those who experience it. Rather, they are attracted to bodies they perceive offer something different from their own. Shlemon says on your Powerpoint, “Homosexuality is a developmental condition. It’s not principally about sex but about gender identity.” 

Many gay couples seem to exhibit or incorporate difference in their relationships. Use the slides to show:

• A lesbian couple where one dresses more feminine and is called the, “femme” while the other dresses more masculine and is called the, “butch.”

• Olympian Tom Daley and his husband Dustin Black are 20 years apart.

• TV host Robin Roberts and her wife Amber Lavign are from different races.

In fact, interracial attraction is so common in the gay community that it uses names to label people:

• Rice queens: are white guys who like Asian guys. Often the white guy is older and hairier and the Asian guy is younger and thinner.

• Potato Queens: Asian guys who only like white guys. For example, Alexander Montgomery, an Australian originally from Singapore, says as an Asian gay man, he is only attracted to white men because, ‘once you go white, nothing else seems right.’[1]In fact, in the gay male community, race and sexual attraction is a huge discussion now, especially on dating apps that allow men to choose partners according to their race.

9 Now, get the students to wrestle with this: if this is an accurate description of how it feels to be sexually attracted to the same sex, then how should we respond?

Get students to understand that it seems that the person who is attracted to someone of their own sex seems to have a false perception of their own body. For example, Alexander seems to be attracted to white men because they exhibit a masculinity that he doesn’t see in himself. If this is the case, wouldn’t we want to encourage him to change the perception of himself and his race? This doesn’t necessarily mean he will stop being attracted to white men, but it might help him understand why he’s so attracted to them. It may also help him to see that God has made him fully male and he doesn’t need to find that masculinity in other men.

Doesn’t real love mean we should help people who experience this view of their own bodies to change the false perception of themselves? Wouldn’t we want them to find their identity in Christ instead?

Conclude by making this point:

10 Jesus shows us through this story that rather than asking “How do we love gay people? We need to ask “How do we love people?”

Brainstorm ways you can begin to see people, not through your sexual identity, but as people loved by a good God. 

As your last exercise, help your students think of ways to reach out to gay or transgender friends or family. Help them know that they don’t have to accept or embrace their chosen identities and instead offer Christ as a better identity. Since He became a man, He knows all about our weaknesses. But as God, He also helps us know how much we are loved and valued, just as we are. Finally, remind the students about how the Apostle John always described himself as "the apostle that Jesus loved" (John 20:2). In our culture, we are told to define ourselves by who we love. John shows us that a far better identity is one based on who loves us.